Workplace dont's

By Ed Biado

Do your co-workers hate you and you don’t know why? Or maybe they don’t hate you, but they talk about something that you do—something that is so regular for you that they somehow find repulsive. Maybe you’re guilty of doing one of these things:

Being on Facebook all day. Sure, you may have some downtime and Farmville is just too fun to resist. But you can’t have multiple status updates, sent app invites, and game level-up bragging notifications all day without your co-workers thinking you’ve been slacking off. They are your Facebook friends, remember? They’ll know that all you’ve been doing since lunch is harvesting your crops.

Surfing porn or do anything porn-ish. Some offices have firewalls that restrict certain Web sites. Others have security measures in place to detect and even take a shot of your screen when you visit inappropriate pages. Don’t be called by your superior for being a pervert. Please, keep it clean. Also, distasteful jokes, remarks, and actions of any kind may be reason for termination.

Being such a baby (part one). That means, don’t whine about every little thing. Your job may be tedious and difficult at times, but it isn’t enough reason to complain about it all day every day. Doing so only demoralizes the people around you and also irritates them. If complaints are all you can talk about over lunch, no one will sit with you.

Being such a baby (part two). Or kid-like, for that matter. Pettiness is not exactly against office policies, but it’s a way to turn your co-workers off. Don’t make a big fuss if someone borrowed your stapler and forgot to return it. Be adult and professional about it. If they act like a big baby about it, it’s their problem. You can take pride in taking the high road.

Being a bully or a clown. It’s all too juvenile to play pranks on or pass mocking and/or insulting remarks to co-workers. The office is a professional setting where the primary objective is to get things done. If it’s April Fool’s Day and your office encourages a harmless joke, that’s fine. But don’t pull one at an important conference with prospective clients.

Having an annoying ringtone. If you must, keep it on the low (really low, please). Irritating ringtones include your boyfriend’s voice saying, “Baby, pick up the phone,” or any tween-oriented song that’s overplayed on the radio. You’re not gonna get much respect from your co-workers like that. Setting your phone on vibrate in the office is the most professional thing to do.

Sucking up to the Man. It’s okay to have a healthy rapport with your co-workers and superiors. But being a suck-up doesn’t really help as most bosses know how that game is played. It’s actually quite damaging as other people in the office are only gonna respond to it with raised eyebrows.

Treating the office like it’s your bedroom. Blankets and pillows are not supposed to be in the office. If you have back problems and require extra support for your chair, it’s fine to have a small pillow. But spreading a sleeping bag on the floor during your lunch hour isn’t exactly recommended; neither giving yourself a mani-pedi nor squeezing pimples. And another thing, don’t walk around barefoot. If you can’t bear to wear your five inches for the entire eight hours, have a sensible two-inch substitute.

Blasting the stereo. If music is gonna help you concentrate, go ahead and play something. But do wear headphones. Other people may not appreciate your music. Worse, it may distract them and prevent them from doing anything productive.

Being the stereo. That means, don’t sing out loud, don’t hum out loud, don’t read e-mails out loud, and don’t practice speeches out loud. The long and short is, don’t do anything out loud. Again, it’s irritating to other people minding their own business. Another thing you shouldn’t do is start non-work-related conversations all the time. A little chitchat is fine to take the edge off. But if that becomes the reason that work isn’t getting done, then, Houston, we have a problem!