20 Secrets your waiter will never tell you

By Michelle Crouch, Reader's Digest

What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen’s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren’t on any menu.

What we lie about
1. We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, “It’s one of our most popular dishes,” chances are she doesn’t like it.
—Waitress at a well-known pizza chain

2. On Christmas Day, when people ask why I’m there, I might say, “My sister’s been in the hospital,” or, “My brother’s off to war, so we’re celebrating when he gets back.” Then I rake in the tips.
—Chris, a New York City waiter and the founder of bitterwaitress.com

3. If you’re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he’s getting something out of the stockroom, you can bet he’s out back having a quick smoke.
—Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny’s in Central Michigan



4. If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, “Oh, we’re out. Sorry!” when really I just don’t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

What you don’t want to know
5. When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray. A lot of times, servers don’t have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we’d stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We’d use the same fork each time.
—Kathy Kniss

6. If you make a big fuss about sending your soup back because it’s not hot enough, we like to take your spoon and run it under really hot water, so when you put the hot spoon in your mouth, you’re going to get the impression — often the very painful impression — that your soup is indeed hot.
—Chris

7. I’ve seen some horrible things done to people's food: steaks dropped on the floor, butter dipped in the dishwater.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area



What you’re really swallowing
8. If your dessert says "homemade," it probably is. But it might be homemade at a bakery three miles away.
—Charity Ohlund

9. I knew one guy — he was a real jerk — he’d go to Costco and buy this gigantic carrot cake for $10 and tell us to say it’s homemade. Then he sold it for $10 a slice.
—Steve Dublanica, veteran New York waiter and author of "Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip — Confessions of a Cynical Waiter"

What drives us crazy
10. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes.
—Charity Ohlund

11. We want you to enjoy yourself while you’re there eating, but when it’s over, you should go. Do you stay in the movie theater after the credits? No.
—Waiter at a casual restaurant in the Chicago area



12. My biggest pet peeve? When I walk up to a table of six or seven people and one person decides everyone needs water. I’m making a trip to deliver seven waters, and four or five of them never get touched.
—Judi Santana, a server for ten years

What we want you to know
13. Sometimes, if you’ve been especially nice to me, I’ll tell the bartender, “Give me a frozen margarita, and don’t put it in.” That totally gyps the company, but it helps me because you’ll give it back to me in tips, and the management won’t know the difference.
—Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan

14. If you’re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we’re listening.
—Charity Ohlund

What tells us you’re trouble
15. I get this call all the time: “Is the chef there? This is so-and-so. I’m a good friend of his.” If you’re his good friend, you’d have his cell.
—Chris

16. The strangest thing I’ve seen lately? A man with a prosthetic arm asked me to coat check it because the table was a little bit crowded. He just removed his arm and handed it to me: “Can you take this?”
—Christopher Fehlinger



17. We always check the reservation book, scan the names, and hope for someone recognizable. I’m happy if the notes say something like “Previous number of reservations: 92.” If they say something like “First-time guest, celebrating Grandma’s 80th birthday, need two high chairs, split checks, gluten allergy,” then I start rummaging through my pockets for a crisp bill for the hostess and I make sure to tell her how much I love her hair fixed like that.
—Charity Ohlund

How to be a good customer
18. Use your waiter’s name. When I say, “Hi, my name is JR, and I’ll be taking care of you,” it’s great when you say, “Hi, JR. How are you doing tonight?” Then, the next time you go in, ask for that waiter. He may not remember you, but if you requested him, he’s going to give you really special service.
—JR, waiter at a fine-dining restaurant and author of the blog servernotslave.wordpress.com

19. Trust your waitress. Say something like “Hey, it’s our first time in. We want you to create an experience for us. Here’s our budget.” Your server will go crazy for you.
— Charity Ohlund

What you need to know about tipping
20. If you walk out with the slip you wrote the tip on and leave behind the blank one, the server gets nothing. It happens all the time, especially with people who’ve had a few bottles of wine.
—Judi Santana

Favorite snack/dessert places of the year

by Ed Biado
Why snacks and desserts? Because snacking is fun and if you want a 3 p.m. food trip, it’s so much more enjoyable to walk around stuffing your face with this-and-that than to sit in a restaurant. And as Filipinos, we can’t resist food vendors when we see one. Thus, fishball carts even in the most high-end of places. But aside from street food, what else is out there? Take a look (and a bite)...
1. Bizhan Persian Express

If you’re ever in Ayala Alabang for the annual Cuenca bazaar, one of the things you’ll notice is the excruciatingly long line at this shawarma stall. Most of those who have tried actually swear that it’s the best in town. At about P150 for the jumbo size, it better be. And trust me, it is. Bizhan is also located at the village’s Rustan’s mini grocery and the San Mig Pub at Alabang Town Center.

2. Yoh-gurt Froz

This is a really good yogurt place that promotes the health benefits of the dessert. Their Classic Fro-yo is regular yogurt topped with your choice of fruit, nuts or cereal. They also have ice cream-ized yogurt in different flavors, yogurt smoothies and pastries with—yes—yogurt on top. How’s that for a really healthy option?

3. The White Hat

There may be a small yogurt revolution going on in the city as this entry is another emerging health-conscious dessert shop. They serve frozen yogurt with combinations of 21 different toppings. Combos are named after hats: “Beret,” “Sombrero,” etc. Or a diner can also make their own “hat,” meaning, get to choose a combo of their choice.

4. Gelatone

But if you really want to go all out on dessert, Gelatone serves gelato like there’s no tomorrow. If you’re a fan of the fatty Italian ice cream, you probably already have a favorite flavor. For the newbies, the kind lady at the counter will let y’all taste them to help you make your sinful decision. Try Amaretto, Dark Chocolate Toblerone, Nutella and Pistaccio. Or what the heck? Try them all!

5. Chimara

You wanna go healthy but can’t really give up chips, meats and sweets? This neo-vegan place might just be for you. Their chips taste like regular chips, maybe even better. But the good news is that they’re made with tofu, bananas and apples. Their menu consists of options for pesco-vegetarians, ovo-lacto-vegetarians and bodybuilders.

6. New York Fries and Dip

It’s actually more about the dips than the fries. Okay, so the fries really are good. But it’s the different dipping choices that makes it fun. You can choose from Pepper Steak, Curry, Chili Peppers, Ranch and 12 more other flavors. And their chicken nuggets are yummy too.

7. De Original Jamaican Pattie Shop

Before a movie starts at many Ayala Malls cinemas, snack vendors are all over the theater, offering popcorn, beverages and other movie-friendly snacks. That includes Jamaican patties. You haven’t had a real one unless you’ve tried their Pinatubo Pattie, a spicy treat served extra-hot that seems to get hotter with every bite.

8. Sabbrett

A regular Sabbrett cart would proudly display celebrities munching on their famous hotdogs. And that ups the yum factor in more ways than one. Frankfurters are among their bestsellers because they’re skinless, therefore, you won’t have to fight so much with the meat because the tough casing isn’t there. And seriously, they’ve got some amazing mustard!

9. Earle’s Delicatessen

Get a Thuringer Bratwurst with a side of chips and have some deli meats to take home and enjoy the next morning. It ain’t even expensive. Almost everything is priced within P30 per 100 grams. There’s one at South Supermarket in Alabang that’s been there for quite some time now. A few other branches have opened in Makati and Ortigas. Check it.

10. Taters

There are two things that you simply have to get at Taters. One is their butter-drizzled popcorn and their iced tea. No kidding, the iced tea is mixed perfectly and tastes really good, considering they’re using a regular iced tea brand. You can also explore their other movie-companion snacks like nachos, fries and chips. There are actually more munchies like sausages, fish-and-chips and onion rings.

Champagne enhances flavor of food

By Micky Fenix

FOR SOMEONE QUITE SHY ABOUT appearing in the company’s brochure, Pierre Emmanuel Taittinger, when asked to pose, proved he knows how to sell his product. He said that it should be better if he had a champagne glass in his hand. But he also liked that he was asked to pose beside the poster that features his daughter, Vitalie, the communications head of the family company. It just so happened that a row of Taittinger champagne bottles were near the poster, which made the photo opportunity even better.

Taittinger Champagne could have been a company without anyone in the family as part of it. In 2005, all the family businesses that included banks, hotels and the champagne house were sold to an American investment company. When the businesses were all separated by the new owners, Pierre Emmanuel Taittinger, with the backing of a bank, bought back Taittinger champagne. There were several offers from different groups from many countries, but he said the bank knew that the Taittinger brand had to have a part of the family. And you could see on his face the pride at having won back what is said to be the third oldest champagne house.

After 10 years, the head of Taittinger was back for a visit. There was a party the night before when Taittinger Champagne must have flowed, but Pierre Emmanuel said that he had no hangover and he thought the guests were okay also. With that, he raised his glass and drank.

Celebrations and champagne go together. Championships have bottles poured or squirted on winning teams, certainly a waste—but it probably isn’t great champagne but cheaper sparkling wine. New boats are launched with it by breaking a bottle on its bow. Toasting partnerships, weddings and other milestones of one’s life all need a fluted glass with tiny bubbles rising to the top.

Food partner

But what Taittinger wanted to assure us that day was that champagne “doesn’t hide the flavors of food.” With that, he asked that lunch be served by the staff of I’m Angus Steakhouse on Yakal Street in Makati. It belongs to the slew of restaurants of Werner Berger, whose Santi’s Delicatessen distributes Taittinger champagnes.

A Brut Reserve nonvintage was served with the appetizers: Duck liver terrine selection, marinated seabass and Atlantic scallop. The soup of cappuccino of lobster bisque was accompanied by the Prestige Rosé nonvintage, which Taittinger said is made from still red wine blended with Chardonnay, which gives the champagne “a beautiful persistent color.” When the perfectly grilled Australian beef medallion was served, it came with the Comtes de Champagne ’99, the exceptional vintage wine made from 100 percent Chardonnay in a differently shaped bottle with the Comtes name more prominent than Taittinger. One connoisseur with us declared that the Comtes we were having was still “young” because it was still acidic in the mouth. We had the Comtes until the trio of sweets.

Throughout lunch historical footnotes were made. Taittinger stated how French king Louis XV liked to have his mistresses drink the bubbly champagne with him—never mind that it was born in monasteries.

He also declared that he drinks champagne daily, but added that he also enjoys pastis (anise-flavored liqueur) either with almond syrup or tomato juice.

Information flowed like his wine that day about the state of the Champagne region, and my pen couldn’t keep up. I had to consult the “Oxford Companion to Wine” edited by Jancis Robinson (Oxford Press, 1994) to make sense of my notes.

Taittinger mentioned how the Champagne region can’t increase the number of hectares (35,000) to produce more wine. The wine encyclopedia says that as a result, the region produces only one bottle in 12 of the total sparkling wines produced in the world. It is Australia and the western United States that have taken to producing sparkling wines. That’s probably why Taittinger went into partnership in California with Le Domaine Carneros, a vineyard between Sonoma and the Napa Valley.

While champagne is a welcome treat, it is more expensive than most of the non-sparkling counterparts. It is also Jancis Robinson who explains why beautifully in her book “Taking Pleasure: Confessions of a Wine Lover” (Penguin Group, 1997): You pay more because of “the sheer depth of flavor that takes years to develop, the way each mouthful lingers in your throat like a comforting, slow-release capsule of explosive warmth, and the fact that it wafts rather than gets up your nose.”

E-mail pinoyfood04@yahoo.com.

What's your martini?

by Ed Biado
The martini is one of the most widely-recognized cocktails in the world. In pop culture, it is a symbol of discriminating taste as many historical figures and fictional characters are known to prefer it to the point of making it their signature drink. And why wouldn’t one enjoy a martini? It’s crisp, clear, has an infusion of bright flavors and notes and it comes in over 40 variations (and counting). Here are the most popular kinds:
1. The classic standard martini is made with gin and dry vermouth in a four is to one ratio and is stirred with ice. After straining it in a chilled martini glass, it’s garnished with an olive or lemon peel. This produces a clear, colorless cocktail. The shaken version is slightly cloudy and the gin being “bruised,” producing a more bitter taste.
2. The vodka martini obviously substitutes gin for vodka. It is one of today’s most popular martini preparations and it’s almost assumed that when one orders a martini, it’s made with vodka.
3. The dirty martini puts the garnish to the forefront as it uses olive brine together with dry vermouth or omitting the latter altogether. The essence is further heightened by using three olives (instead of one) as garnish. A dusty martini, meanwhile, only adds a small amount of brine, simply to bring out a hint of the essence.
4. The Dirty Pickle substitutes olive brine in the dirty martini with pickle juice. This is garnished either with a mini gherkin or a dill spear.
5. The smoky martini is simply gin with a splash of Scotch, stirred and garnished with lemon peel. It is also called burnt martini.
6. The dry martini uses less dry vermouth than usual. Extra dry would mean even less. It’s virtually all gin with just a few drops of dry vermouth. The standard dry martini has different names, depending on the garnish—Okratini (pickled okra), Buckeye (black olive), Gibson (pickled onion), Gibsontini (onion-stuffed olive) and Spiceland (garlic-stuffed olive).
7. The Vesper is a James Bond invention. According to the pages of Casino Royale, it contains three measures of Gordon’s gin, one of vodka and half a measure of the French aperitif wine, Kina Lillet. It’s garnished with a slice of lemon peel and served in a champagne flute.
8. The Bronx is a fruity martini that was once ranked third in the world, in terms of popularity (after the standard martini and the Manhattan). This is a shaken cocktail that contains six parts gin, three parts sweet red vermouth, two parts dry vermouth and three parts orange juice.
9. The Kinopanorama martini is made with four parts London gin, two parts vodka and half a part each of Noilly Prat vermouth and Lillet Blanc. It’s shaken and garnished with a twist of lemon.
10. The Valencia martini uses Fino sherry instead of dry vermouth. Before pouring, orange peel is flamed in order for its oil to drop into and coat the martini glass. It’s garnished with an unburned orange peel. The vodka variant is called the Flame of Love martini.

Table manners for casual dining

It's not only at fine dining that we should maintain proper social graces. Every dinner table deserves that respect, even those at casual restaurants like bistros, pizzerias and grills. What should and shouldn't we do? Here's a few:

Ordering before everyone is seated- sure, you're starving but your date hasn't arrived yet. Do you order? the answer is no unless your date calls to say that they will be really late and insists that you go ahead. If they're just using the comfort room, wait.

Starting to eat before everyone is served- it's only acceptable to begin your meal before everybody else does if your dish is hot and cannot be enjoyed once it turns cold. You should also wait for someone to urge you start eating. You shouldn't just chow down by yourself if the others mind.

Reaching out for the salt at the other end of the table- Always- repeat, always- ask for the salt if it's beyond reach. Never- repeat, never- extend your arm outside your own "personal space" to try to grab for it. Invading someone else's "personal space" is sorely frowned upon.

Asking for a taste of someone else's dish- some people are just too polite to decline if you ask them whether you could sample their food even if they really don't want you to. If you're really close and there wouldn't be any awkward discomfort, fine. But in general, wait until you get offered a taste.

Digging in from the serving plate- most of us like sharing food and like them served family-style. And when these dishes are placed at the middle of the table, serving forks or spoons come with them. Please use those utensils instead of your own.

Picking food out of your mouth- fish bones (and small chicken bones) or anything small and doesn't look disgusting can be picked out using your fingers and placed at the edge of your plate. If it's a big slab of fat that you can't bear to swallow, discreetly spit it out onto a table napkin and keep it unseen by company.

Stacking used plates- you might as well clear the table and wash the dishes if you're gonna stack them.The wait staff is always around to take away used plates.

Answering phone calls- the general rule is that you should excuse yourself. But many people answer phone calls at the table and it's beginning to be accepted. If you're one of those people, the least you could do is speak soft voice, away from the people on the table and only stay on the phone for a minute.

Picking your teeth after eating- the toothpicks may be on the table but it doesn't mean you should use them there. Picking your teeth in front of company, no matter how discreetly, doesn't really qualify as excellent table manners. Excuse yourself and use the comfort room mirror.

Fixing hair and makeup- one word: don't. If you have to retouch, go to the comfort room, for Pete' sake!

-by Ed Biado